How to waste your life and still have time to keep losing your bloody glasses.

“Never feel afraid to make another cup of tea and have a think about leaving the house”


I used to think there was so much time left to those things that humanity deems important you know the “find a girl, settle down if you want you can marry, look at me I am old but I’m happy…….

cat stevens

But it turns out life doesn’t work like that at all. In fact it plays tricks with you…..

It tells you that you have all the time in the world, take it easy, you are still young and have plenty of time to follow your dreams. Then you wake up one day, its twenty years later and you’re still living at home with your crazy father watching re-runs of Star Gate SG1 in your dressing gown with the only plans for your day revolving around toe nail clipping.


I have always been of the mind that you get what you give in when it comes to life. However this all changed recently, when I met an old classmate. No classmate is a strong word….I couldn’t stand him when he was in my class and I can’t stand him now. Anyway this prat spent his whole educational life setting fire to things, spent the formative years of his adulthood in some jail or another, finds a girl with lots of money, gets a job with her father and now drives a jeep.

When he saw me he said “I hear your still living at home and you’re in college again. Talk about bleeding wasting your life.”

Life is a cunt like that sometimes.


I’ve wasted another bit of my life talking about that dude. Meanwhile I’m still single, unemployed and living with a man who uses toilet duck in a sink.

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